I no longer wish to please others at the expense of my emotional well-being. I have mastered the art of giving for so long that I forgot how it feels to receive. I feel like a magician, concealing my real identity only to entertain those around me. It’s a lonely world sometimes when you constantly give and look around for anyone that will give back.
I long for a prescription that will cure me of this,
My need for constant giving,
Stroking anyone that wants to be stroked,
Giving to everyone without having anything to give,
I want to know what it’s like to feel free, to get rid of this illness
To love and have someone love back
To enjoy life without discounts
half ass moments with half ass people
waiting for handouts
While I’m patiently waiting for someone to serve me!
I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad.
I’m lazy, yet ambitious.
I say I don’t care, but I really do.
I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way.
I’m a conflicted contradiction, if I can’t figure myself out there’s no way anyone else has.
I have a secret bigger than the two of us, bigger than the lies I tell myself, bigger than the dreams I pretend to chase, bigger than the weight I carry over my shoulders from all my past disappointments and regrets.
You’ve heard my secret before, I’ve whispered it to you through my skin while you crawl down to my Garden of Eden gently massaging my throbbing muscle.
I want you all to myself,
I can’t get you out of my head, not that I’m even trying to,
I don’t want you to get out, I want you to stay~
forever if you can.
My secret sneaks up on me daily like blessings in an unfamiliar crowd
You are an addiction
cravings I get like a strung out junkie but instead of needles I use your body parts for a fix
My secret is too heavy to carry alone,
It weighs on me like a pounding headache,
It tugs at me like an excited child wanting to share their favorite toy,
It burns within me traveling throughout my body like blood boiling through my veins yearning to be released,
That’s why I secretly need you because my life feels better
You seem to restore me back to health, putting me back together.